As Cait and I were painting , the subject of one of her school projects came up. Her assignment was to create a utopia. I asked her how it was going, thinking that would be a fun assignment. To my surprise, she complained that it was an impossible task.

I asked her to explain. She said that for every utopian idea she had, it created several more problems that would need to be solved. The conversation fully engaged us for the entire time it took to finish our painting.

But it got me to thinking…

At some point in my life — I keep saying when I’m in my 70s– I plan on starting a school. A utopian school. A school that children couldn’t wait to get to in the morning, and wouldn’t want to leave in the afternoon. I’ve spent years reading and researching and collecting contacts, so that when I’m ready to get going I’ll have a lot of the leg work already done.

While the 3 R’s would be taught along with other traditional subjects, they would be taught in non-traditional ways, where books would play a secondary role to direct experience.  On sunny days, classes would take place outside.  Life skills would also be taught, along with an emphasis on maintaining a close connection to the natural world. And so on and so on. In other words, I’d take the best of Montessori, Waldorf, public school, private school, and home schooling and ditch what doesn’t work.

I would only hire the best of the best teachers and I’d pay very high salaries, because I’d have very high expectations of them. I’d accept no union teachers because I’d reserve the right to hire and fire based on performance. “Classrooms” would be set up more like “Life” rooms. There would be multiple adults and varying ages of children combined in small, fluid groups that would shift and change based on what was being learned.

That’s just a small peek at what I have in mind.

As I’m always looking to pick up more ideas, let me ask you — if you could create a school from the ground up, what would you include and throw out? What do you think is important for a good education? I’d love to hear.

At least, she didn’t sing well — before I signed her up for singing lessons last year.

I’m not one to get Cait lessons for every little interest or activity.  I’m not one to want her to be involved in a zillion things.  That’s because I’m a big believer in “down-time.” For a lot of reasons. Not least of which is because I know that creativity, ingenuity, and discovery are more likely to happen if you leave space for them to happen.

So I think Cait was actually a little surprised when she asked for singing lessons and I agreed.

Her singing ability dramatically improved and she got a lead part in this year’s play. We both know that wouldn’t have been likely without the lessons. But the play is over and I’ve let her continue with her lessons.

Yesterday she asked me why.

A million thoughts went through my head, including one of my all-time favorite quotes by one of my all-time favorite authors, Mark Twain. You’ve probably heard a variation of it, but here’s the original:

“Dance like nobody’s watching; love like you’ve never been hurt. Sing like nobody’s listening; live like it’s heaven on earth.”

Right after my father died, I worried that I’d never truly feel alive again. I had to fight my way out of a black hole. The only time I had to myself back then was when I took Kiera for her daily walk. We’d head out on our 3-mile route. Once we were out of earshot from neighbors, I’d start singing at the top of my lungs while dancing and skipping down the deserted road. Kiera would jump and sing along with me. After belting out a few of my favorite tunes, I’d invariably feel my heart open back up and I knew I’d be able to breath for another day.

My dad’s been gone for enough years that I can think of him now and smile without also crying. Maybe that’s as much because, over time, I figured out how to reconnect with him so that he doesn’t feel “gone” to me anymore. But that’s another post.

What I told Cait was that I believe there’s a spiritual power in singing — to open up the chest to breath deeply, to open up the heart to feel fully. And that I loved hearing her sing everyday, and I wanted her to continue to sing everyday for her own health and well-being. And that I believed if everyone sang uplifting songs and danced everyday, the world would be a better place.

Talking with her about this, I realized that I’d fallen out of the habit of singing everyday like nobody’s listening. So I’ve started back up.

So, just a little warning. If you’re around these parts and you see what looks to be a crazy lady walking her dog, apparently spazzing out and singing (not necessarily in tune) at the top of her lungs, you’ll know that, um, you don’t need to call for the men in the white suits.

Speaking of which — when’s the last time you’ve had yourself a good sing?

Mud Season

Muddy Yard

Muddy Dog

Muddy Floor.

So don’t say I never warned you.

Oh, and the one and only reason to get a dog? If you can’t live a day without unconditional love and laughter. There’s nothing else in the world quite like it.

]]> http://karenshanley.com/blog/2010/02/reason-34-for-not-getting-a-dog/feed/ 8 http://karenshanley.com/blog/2010/02/last-call/ http://karenshanley.com/blog/2010/02/last-call/#comments Sun, 14 Feb 2010 22:09:53 +0000 Karen http://karenshanley.com/blog/?p=943 Last call for the dogs at our house is usually around 11 pm. When first call starts at around 5 am, that makes for a very long day. So, at night, I always walk them out to ensure that they get down to business.

Since my sense of humor and patience had already left for bed without me hours ago, no dawdling is allowed.

Kiera and Graidy know the drill.

Wink, still very much a puppy at 18 months, sees this as another opportunity to prolong the day.

He stops. I groan.

He’s always stopping.

Wink has this idea that he should get all his exercise inside, running around the house like a madman. So he can spend all of his time outside, standing perfectly still, sniffing everything for hours on end.  I am not supportive of the sniffing tonight.  I enforce a strict ‘Walk and Poop’ policy because I’d like to get to bed within the same 24 hours in which I awoke.

So we’re outside, and he’s stopped–again–and I’m about to start whining.  But he doesn’t lower his head to the ground to sniff.  He looks around.

By this time, Graidy and Kiera, having bored of Wink’s shenanigans, retreat through the dog door. I presume they’ve gone upstairs to seek out the warmth and comfort of their dog beds.

I look around. I notice that it’s started snowing. I’m surprised. There wasn’t any snow expected in the forecast.

Everything is so quiet.  The snow is quickly blanketing the ground and dampening the ambient sounds, so that all Wink and I can hear is water running in the stream in back.

Wink looks up to the sky and continues to look up for what seems like a very long time.  I look up, too.

The snowflakes are huge, and fall gently toward us.  They look silver under the porch light, and they seem to go on, straight up, for miles and miles.

Beyond the snow I can see stars.

I look back down at Wink.  He’s still looking up, and I watch him take it all in.

Finally he turns to look me straight in the eye as if to ask,  Snow and stars together — isn’t it amazing?  What is this universe we live in?  How did we get here, and why are we here anyway?

Out loud I say, “Nobody knows, Wink.  People have been trying to answer those questions for thousands of years — but at the end of the day, nobody knows.”

He smiles in the way that dogs do.  Isn’t it wonderful?

“Yes, it is.”

I sit down on the deck next to him and pull him to my side. We both look back up.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Regular readers know that I’m big on annual garden experiments. An experiment that I didn’t chronicle last season was trying seeds from a variety of catalogs.

Since I save most of my seeds, I only grow from organic open-pollinated seeds. That immediately limits my selection.

I chose seeds from:

Fedco: They have the most extensive list and greatest quantity of seeds available (good for the serious gardener and small farmer).  Since they’re in Maine, most of their seeds do well from Zone 5 up.

Seeds of Change: They offer a nice selection of organic seeds in quantities that make sense for the backyard gardener.

Good Seed Company:  They offer open pollinated, heirloom & homestead seeds. Their seeds are especially adapted for northern gardens.

Territorial Seed: While they’re not exclusively organic, they do offer a nice organic selection.

For my Upstate NY garden, the winner is…

Seeds of Change isn’t the cheapest, nor do they offer the widest selection, but I have nearly 100% seed germination with their seeds. And they seem to fare the best in being both disease and pest resistant.

Fedco wins hands down for the most informative, fun, educational, and interesting catalog.  It’s worth getting their catalog just for reading material.

What’s your favorite seed catalog?

My little cluster at the moment has to do with healthcare. Within a few months of each other, my family doctor, dentist, and vet have retired. I’ve yet to find people to replace them. That’s because essentially they’re irreplaceable. They all came from the old school where they were human beings first and medical practitioners second. If any of us really needed to get in to see them, I knew that I’d be able to get an appointment that same day — and that they’d treat my family and animals as whole beings, not as body parts or diseases.

As I continue my search to find doctors that my family and animals will feel comfortable with, I wonder if I will be able to find care remotely close to what we had. It seems people like that are a dying breed.

So imagine my surprise when I watched my mother’s vet walk over to her unbidden to give her a fatherly hug while she stood crying in his office. He’d just given her the news that the tumor he’d surgically removed from her 8-year-old German Shepherd was malignant.

Even though, all things considered, the news was relatively good — the cancer was still in a very early stage and he’d gotten it all — he seemed to know that what my mother needed most in that moment was compassionate arms around her telling her that everything would be okay.

I tell you, it did my heart good to know that people like that still exist. And it reaffirmed that I should hold out until I find them.

Since I’m in the market for tips — if you guys are happy with your dr.s and vets, how did you find them?

Cait takes a moment to tighten up her laces.

Even though the ice is 5 inches thick (thick enough to safely drive a car on) and we have a long-line rope on the fence post, I still wind up checking on them from time to time.  My old EMT safety habits die hard.

What I quickly saw was that they had company. Can you see their eyes glowing up on the ridge?

I wondered how long it would take the girls to notice.  Cait usually has a sixth sense when there are critters around.

Ah, there– they’ve both caught sight of them.

What they can’t see (because of the floodlights) that I can see is that these are our five deer.

Pow-wow to decide what to do.

When in doubt…  move on out!

Both girls and deer have scared each other off.

Hmm, that ice looks inviting…  I think I’ll go for a spin.

I can hear some of you suggest that cats fit in with us just as well.  I would argue that cats are willing to put up with far less before they’ll try to avoid or escape us. Dogs hang in there through thick and thin.

To help you and your dog hang in there together in better health and happiness, here are five facts everyone living with a dog should know.

1. Dogs actually have fairly delicate digestive systems – at least when it comes to processed dog food.  If you change their dog food too quickly, they will experience gastrointestinal difficulties (including diarrhea). If you want to switch dog food brands, do so gradually, over the course of a week, by mixing small amounts of the new brand in with the old each day, until you’ve fully switched out the old brand with the new. (Click to learn which dog food brands get the highest ratings.) Bottom line: If you’re traveling with or kenneling your dog, make sure you bring along his dog food.

2. Dogs, like people, build up tartar on their teeth when not cleaned regularly. Few people bother to brush their dogs’ teeth every day. So it’s only a matter of time until the vet recommends an expensive dental cleaning that always involves anesthesia.  This procedure may often  be avoided altogether by simply giving your dog a marrow bone (found in the meats section of your grocery store where they sell soup bones) no more than once a week  Stay away from Greenies and other manufactured teeth cleaning chews, because these items can break off in large chunks and cause intestinal blockages.

3. Dogs, like people, have preferences. Not all dogs like each other, and yet many people don’t think twice about throwing different dogs together (whether in their own home or at the dog park), without testing the waters. Yes, dogs are pack animals, but most people are misinformed as to what that means. (Please read this excellent article for a better understanding of Canine Pack Behavior.)  While being a pack animal makes them social to a point, it doesn’t make them nondiscriminatory.  Be watchful when you introduce your dog to another for any stress signs, such as yawning, licking, hackles raising (often with a wagging tail), etc.  If your dog is letting you know it has a problem with another dog, don’t force the issue or “let them work it out.”

4. ALL dogs will bite. I can’t tell you how many letters I get from sweet people in shock over their sweet dog who’s bitten someone. The question is not if your dog will bite, but what will cause it to bite. To avoid this happening to you, know your dog’s provocation limits and protect it from situations and people that could be triggers. For instance, just because my Graidy is a gentle soul and so far has bitten no one, that doesn’t mean that I’d let a little kid pull his ears or chase him, or allow another dog to bully him.

5. Not all dogs are created equal. Different breeds are bred for specific purposes. And while I know no one who reads here regularly would do this, I find it shocking how many people pick their dogs based on looks without bothering to do the breed research beforehand. Statistically, people will spend more time researching their next computer than they will researching their next dog. One only needs to see the number of dogs in rescue and shelters to know the end result of these often ill-thought out purchases. The best step you can take for you and your family when selecting a new puppy or dog is to understand the differences between breeds.  And then select a breed that fits within your family’s energy levels, property size, and interests. For example, if you’re a couch potato, your life would be made miserable by adding a herding dog, whereas it would be enriched by certain toy breeds.  If you like to keep beautiful laws and gardens, your life will be challenged by adding a terrier and enhanced by a working dog. And so on.

What all these points have in common is that they ask us to educate ourselves, to be better observers of our dogs, and to learn how to respect our dogs’ communication. If we do, we get to be rewarded with our dogs’ lifetime of unconditional love and joyful companionship. It doesn’t get any better than that!

Here’s Cait’s and my pressing question: How are you going to say the year?

A: Twenty ten?

or

B: Two thousand ten?

While I think A will be the spoken standard as we go forward, Cait thinks it should be B, because, as she says, “It’s not just crossing a one-hundred-year marker, we’ve crossed a thousand-year marker, so it should continue to be two thousand and…” She thinks that extra gravitas should be emphasized as we go forward.

Time. And how we mark it. Interesting to think about.

So — are you an A or a B person?