Q: What is this idea of non-attachment? Is it about not caring about anything? That doesn’t seem right. This makes it problematic for a lot of people to figure out why they get out of bed in the morning. Can you explain further how you reach that point of being able to just walk away and not care?
First, let’s consider attachment. There’s a belief that what you have belongs to you and a tendency to think it cannot be replaced. Neither is true. Why get up in the morning? Because there’s a beautiful world laid out before you. If you look at each morning—instead of as a continuation of yesterday’s to-do list—as a fresh beginning, a new start, creativity can be allowed to play. But, if it has already been predetermined as a continuation of yesterday’s must-dos, there’s little room for creativity, little room for appreciating.
Non-attachment doesn’t mean that you won’t have what you need when you need it, or that you have to give everything away. It simply means you will be disinclined to hoard feelings, memories, possessions, people, money, etc.
We’re living in a world of scattered energies, emotionally and culturally creating divisiveness that creates a feeling of, “I need to take care of myself. I need to be prepared. Because it feels as though something bad is always imminent.” This triggers the mentality, “It’s me against the world. I must stash everything I need while I can.” It’s a zero-sum mentality.
Q: Okay, so how do we acquire the faith and the trust to believe and to act as if what we need actually will arrive?
By training the mind to stay in the present. There is no sensation of coming or going or arriving. It all just is. This doesn’t mean sitting on a hilltop somewhere, waiting for it all to arrive. That’s magical thinking. It’s about going with the flow energetically. When you can do that, you are brought to where you need to be next for the next thing to happen. When you overcome your doubts and negative inertia, the opportunities are presented. Sure, you will still need to act on them. But the opportunities are there. There are always opportunities, as long as you remember to stay in the flow. Go where the energy takes you. When you are skilled in meditation, not living from a place of fear, this is the natural state.
Q: Are there ways to get better at recognizing where the energy flow is and where you plug in? In this world today, it seems like that’s not natural anymore. How do we get to where we know it and feel it?
Just like sailing a boat across open waters, it appears as though there is no path. The sailor knows there’s a very clear path, but he knows the water doesn’t set the path. The wind sets the path. Know where to look for what. The water is the mundane, and most of us experience it as if we’re on an obstacle course. The wind, for many, appears too ephemeral. They’re not sure how to adjust the sails to have the wind take them where they want to go.
In fact, it would be beneficial to take sailing lessons to physically and viscerally experience how flow works. Because, in some ways—or for the inexperienced at least—it can feel counterintuitive at first.
This is also where there’s great value in learning how to interpret the day’s energy. Because that will help you know which way the wind is blowing that day. Do everything you can to be in tune with nature. To learn how to read nature. And that will be the greatest teacher for understanding flow. It’s not an intellectual experience.
Learn to pick up the flow wherever you are. Every day, make that the practice. Each one of us needs to determine for ourselves where we want to step into the river, based on what we hope to meet.
Go. Step into the river. If you don’t like where it’s taking you, step out. Step back in at another time. Or, go to another river altogether. It’s about changing the perception of “This is all I can do. There is nothing else.” Or, “This is fated. I can’t avoid it.” This is wrong thinking. When you become a master navigator, it all changes.
Q: And the way you become a master navigator is how?
Play with the river. Play with flow. Play with letting go. Play with walking on without an idea of a destination: “I’m just going to go. I will see what I see. It will be what it is.”
We hold on to our lives so tightly that there’s little room for flow to occur. Usually, it takes a tsunami to bring change. What a destructive way to bring change. It is not necessary. Just play with flow.
To some extent, it sounds elusive and nebulous as the wind can feel elusive and nebulous. And yet, there are so many ways to have the wind reveal itself clearly. Which way the leaves on the trees move. Which way the waves on the water move. There are so many signs that show the wind that make it visible. It is the same with flow. Think of flow as the wind and figure out how to make it visible for you. There are always indicators and pointers.
There are many sayings in the English language that try to help people understand. “Whenever one door closes, another opens.” And so on and so on. If you are feeling stuck in a stalemate, no matter what you try, that is not the flow. Take two steps over and try again. Or walk in the other direction and try again. Or meet another person and try again. Don’t get fixated on “It’s this door only. I must go through this door, and if it will not open, I will break it down.” That is not flow. That is ego. Flow is collaboration. Working with ego is “I want what I want, when and where I want it.” Flow will get you there much faster, with less physical and emotional damage.
It would help if parents taught their children this at an early age, to play with flow by being out in nature and learning nature’s signs. It would give children all the confidence they need to grow into healthy, happy adults.
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