Watch a group of young children who are holding hands and skipping around in a circle. They’ll smile and yell and laugh, as well as complain and desire to change places. Watch as they rearrange themselves to be next to the ones with whom they feel most compatible, and then you’ll see the circle pick up and go around again.

Friendship, in its most elemental experience, is at its purest at this young age before social structure and custom have been shaped into an unconscious habit. Young children still have a very awakened subconscious, good instincts, and working intuition. Like animals, they have the ability to sense other’s intentions toward them. Like animals, so much of their sensing world is still on an energetic/vibrational level of natural compatibility, and incompatibility. Children know right away if they like or don’t like someone.

You can see it on a playground where many children come who don’t all know each other. They’ll scan all of the children present and within seconds gravitate toward selected individuals, pick up play and begin forming friendships. There is much to learn from watching young children, and remembering how you were as a child. There’s not as much concern over social custom. There’s not such deeply ingrained social politeness. There’s the truth of the vibrational rate: I’m drawn to this one and not drawn to that one. Nothing personal, it’s just a vibrational frequency.

Left to their own devices, children have the ability to seek out their own vibrational frequency. But because parents wish for their children to get along, to like everyone, to not hurt anyone’s feelings, to not appear rude or too truthful, they encourage their children to deny their connection to their feelings: “Now don’t say that to Bobby,” or “You don’t really feel that way.” Early on, parents begin teaching children to deny their natural instincts in favor of becoming socially acceptable. On the surface, teaching children to fit in seems a worthy service parents try to provide. In reality, this is the earliest beginning of disconnecting children from what they know, and instilling confusion and distrust for their instincts. This teaches children that instincts and self-awareness are something to be overridden in favor of social acceptance.

Many parents look at this as an either/or proposition. But it is possible to show your children how to fit into, and understand the social structure and culture in which they’re born, while retaining their spiritual and intuitive connection by teaching your children how to express their feelings with clarity and compassion through example and instruction.

The point is that within 30 seconds of meeting someone, all humans know whether their energy fields and vibrational frequencies are compatible or not. But value judgments are layered on top of this, such as “I like you”, “I don’t like you.” When the value judgment is removed, it’s much easier to recognize and delineate a harmonious vibration, an irritating vibration, a loving vibration, an over-stimulating vibration, and so on. Each person we meet falls within a spectrum. The awareness of the compatibility and potential for friendship is nearly instant—and usually, even with clouded subconscious connections, amazingly accurate and consistent over time.

When you meet someone you “like,” there is an immediate expansion of the energy field around both individuals, a kind of spiritual embracing and commingling. When you meet someone you don’t “like,” there is a spontaneous contraction of the energy fields and a resistance to opening oneself up or connecting. The instinctual self knows what’s healthy and not healthy for it. Another way of explaining this would be to look at the analogy of chemical composition. Some chemicals, when added together, blend well. Some become volatile and explosive. There is nothing wrong with either one of the chemicals; neither of the chemicals is bad. Simply, each has its purpose and some are just not meant to be combined. Again, it is not personal.

This is also true of people. If we were to accept that not only do you like and not like someone else nearly instantaneously no matter what they do, but as well, others like or don’t like you on the spot, no matter what you do, this would free a tremendous amount of emotional and spiritual energy to accept who we are, to be who we are, and to accept who we like and wish to have as friends. This isn’t to say it’s not possible to get along with a great myriad of people with different vibrational rates—especially as one becomes more spiritually clear— but natural friendship is something that happens naturally. It cannot be forced or willed.

Over time, you can learn to adapt to and may come to favorably tolerate someone with whom you share an incompatible vibration, but you will always be aware that you are making this compensation. And, yes, you may be able to find something to “like” about everyone, but this does not negate or override the essential, immediate bond that takes place in a natural friend