What Is Right and Wrong: A Non-Dual Perspective on Living in a Dual World

Q: Let’s talk about right and wrong. From the non-dual perspective – the understanding that all of existence is fundamentally one interconnected whole – there is no right or wrong. There only is what is. Right?

Yes, there is only the totality of all that is. If there is no duality (no separation between things), there cannot be right and wrong, as these are dual concepts that require separation to exist.

The challenge people have with these concepts that cause them to ask these kinds of questions is that while they can understand the concept of nonduality, many have no direct experience to truly understand it.

It is the same with these kinds of questions often asked: Why is there suffering? How can we stop suffering? How can God allow suffering? How come bad things happen to good people? All of these questions live in a dual framework, which allows for opposites to exist. And because most of humanity experiences a dual reality, these are concepts they feel to be true and have direct experience with. To say they don’t exist is not believable for them because it is not their experience.

So, one either has to answer from a dual perspective, which reinforces the illusion of duality, or they can try to explain it from a nondual perspective, and people will nod their heads but not truly understand. And they want to understand. It is a concept that resolves many problems. Herein lies the crux of the matter; the question can never be satisfactorily answered from a dual perspective.

Q: When people ask that question, I think many are trying to get at this question: How do we guide ourselves in the world if there is no sense of right and wrong? How, then, do we think about creating our societies, our communities, and making our way in the world when there is no sense of right and wrong to guide us?

Essentially, it is similar to the question: Is there free will or no free will? The answer depends on our perspective: from an absolute (non-dual) perspective or a relative (human) perspective. From the absolute perspective of All-That-Is, everything simply exists as one unified whole – past, present, and future are already complete. It has all been done. It all is. It is all known. The mathematical equation runs flawlessly. There’s no separate self to have free will. There is no struggle or pain in that. Because there is no one and nothing to struggle.

From a human perspective, because it is not all known, because humans’ consciousnesses are not clear enough to be “knowers,” they live as experiencers. And as individual experiencers, we make choices and experience their consequences.

More precisely, what people are trying to ask is: How does one live in a dual world—within the constraints of the duality of good and evil and right and wrong?

All beings understand and have an awareness of an experience of harmony. All beings wish to live in harmony. So, there is an innate understanding and attraction toward that experience. The problem currently being faced is that those in power are feeding the flames of divisiveness because it serves their ends. If they can keep everyone in disequilibrium, there will be no trust, which prevents the ability to experience or share harmony with anyone outside of their immediate thought group.

There are many truths that have existed through time. Look to those for guidance. Many spiritual truths: Be a good person. Be your brother’s keeper. Treat others the way you wish to be treated. Be humble. Respect your elders. Share. By simply focusing on those, we will call them universal truths, we have a blueprint for how to behave.

Because immature behavior and unacceptable behavior by those in power have been normalized, it becomes an unfortunate role model for those in pain who are looking for an excuse and permission to lash out, to try to bring others down, to try to bring others down to their level. Correction: to push others down below their level.

Those with wisdom and understanding need to set an example of spiritual behavior in the face of adversity.

There is no simple answer to such an ingrained systemic problem. But starting with the universal truths: Be a good person, do good things. To inculcate that in your children is a starting place.

Q: You began by saying that all humans have a need or urge for harmony. But there are so many people today who don’t have that. Where is the disconnect?

There is an underlying harmony that exists everywhere in nature and human consciousness. But our collective experience of it has been smashed to smithereens into tiny pieces, tiny groups. Instead of recognizing our shared universal harmony, people have retreated into smaller tribal groups, each defining harmony according to their own limited perspective. This fragmentation means what one group sees as harmonious might conflict with another group’s definition.

Q: What caused the smashing? The universal harmony that’s gone now.

Fear and greed. The answer is that simple. It can be broken down into smaller components: pain, scarcity, inequality, lack of opportunity, financial stress. It’s a long list, but the umbrella is fear and greed.

Q: And you’re saying that the antidote is kindness and caring. And yet that can so easily seem inadequate against the forces that have taken over.

You are looking for results instead of understanding that what I’m talking about is a way of being. The focus needs to shift from measuring outcomes (‘doing’) to embodying qualities (‘being’). Rather than asking, ‘What did my kindness achieve?’, we should express kindness because it’s our natural state.

It is the humility of pure compassion that allows for true kindness. Not a disguised condescension or self-righteousness—”Because I am better than you, I am more evolved than you, I will extend you kindness, even though I think you are an inexcusable excuse for a human being.”

All beings right now are highly sensitized and can immediately see through any disingenuousness. Because they are all so statically charged, any spark will cause them to ignite. Do not look for results. Just be. When you look for results, you are essentially saying, “I want to win them over to my side because I am right.” Instead, simply be and live in the truth of what you know to be right as your expression, with no ulterior motives. That’s what has the power to change people.

Again, do not look for results. Throw down your seeds and walk on, and do not look back to see if they grow or not. Some will, some won’t.

Q: That way of being seems very hard to do. What are the ways that we can get better at that way of being?

That way of being is actually very simple and easy, when you can stay rooted in the beingness. The expression of my being is kindness, compassion, non-judgmental acceptance. What makes it difficult is looking for results: Did that change anything? Does that person see what a kind, non-judgmental person I am? Has that person been changed? You’ve lost the way as soon as you look for immediate results.

It’s no different than saying I choose to be happy today because it makes me happy to be happy. I choose kindness today because it makes me happy to be kind, to experience and embody kindness energetically. The feeling of kindness feels good. When we look to others to validate our feelings of kindness, and they don’t, we allow them to rob us of the happiness of our kindness.

Some of it is mental discipline. Some of it is emotional discipline. Some of it is working on becoming a healthy, whole person yourself and continuing to grow and learn spiritually. The good news is that life presents us with endless opportunities to practice.

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