Q: Why do different spiritual paths often feel so different, even when they point to the same goal?
Every tradition uses its own language and methods, but they’re all trying to reach the same essential water. When you’re digging a well and you want to hit water, you don’t dig a bunch of shallow holes. You pick one spot that resonates with you and go deep. That’s how you hit the water.
Q: What’s your take on popular “you’re already enlightened” teachings?
I think they can be unintentionally discouraging. Yes, the essence is already awake. But without having had the actual direct experience, hearing “there’s nothing to do, you’re already there, and it’s not a big deal” often leaves people feeling worse. When they hear “there is no you, no family, no thoughts—everything is illusion,” it sounds terrible. Of course they don’t want to lose the people they love or themselves. Telling people who haven’t had the actual experience of oneness fries people’s brains.
It’s not about giving everything up. It’s about growing through. When you’re genuinely done with something, you don’t have to force yourself to relinquish it—you just don’t want it anymore. That’s natural spiritual maturation.
The truth is, a genuine opening is a very big deal. The experience of enlightenment is the biggest deal. It’s not just “moving through the world with awareness.” It’s a complete shift.
Language alone won’t get you there. Knowledge helps, meditation helps, lifestyle helps—but the spontaneous opening —the direct experience —is what changes everything. It’s not just a casual shift in awareness. That’s why I spend so much time helping students have a “oneness” experience. Often, even having one such experience opens the door to a fuller understanding of what’s being pointed to in non-dualism.
Q: What’s the best way to handle it when our way of experiencing oneness clashes with someone else’s?
It can be an adventure. Especially when talking with a committed non-dualist. They tend to make it an either/or. You’re either dual or non-dual. In their view, any attachment to the physical world is grasping and should be avoided. For me, some of the deepest openings often come spontaneously in nature. Because I experience the energy around each individual thing and around the whole at the same time, it’s not primarily intellectual — it’s a visceral, body-level knowing.
When I’m standing in a beautiful day, fully present and enjoying it, and someone says “That’s grasping,” I have to laugh. Enjoying this moment isn’t grasping. It’s a both/and, not an either/or. For example, in Kashmiri Shaivism, you don’t have to reject the world to move toward non-duality. Beauty, embodiment, and presence can be part of the path. I say, different wells for different people, with the understanding that the water at the bottom is the same in all wells.
Q: What does a life without grasping actually look like?
I know someone who comes close. He accepts what comes, without constant chasing. He’s living his life fully in the present.
Meanwhile, we have those who are deeply intellectual and dedicated to their practice, including meditation. That combination clearly brings them joy and keeps them engaged. Different temperaments need different approaches, and that’s okay.
We do need to be honest with ourselves, though, recognizing and admitting when our approaches start tipping over into grasping. That’s something to be mindful of on all paths.
Q: Why is meaningful dialogue across paths often so difficult?
When two people have spent decades on their respective tracks, conversations can easily become parallel monologues rather than true sharing. It becomes: you say your understanding, I say mine. We’re mostly listening to ourselves to deepen what we already believe, rather than deeply listening and staying open.
Q: Does structure actually help spiritual growth?
Yes. Research shows that too many choices tend to create anxiety and paralysis, while commitment and structure often foster focus, creativity, and freedom. Going deep into one path gives you a container that supports real transformation.
Q: So, what’s the bottom line?
There are many ways to reach the same water. My path is through embodied presence, meditation, and nature. Other paths — intellectual, renunciative, devotional — work for other temperaments. Your way will be your way. The important thing is to find the one that resonates with you, commit to digging deep, stay honest with your own experience, and have it be about being in the flow rather than endlessly chasing peaks. The journey is personal, but the water is the same. So, bottom line, dig your well deep—and keep going until you hit the water.