Q: Why has it become so difficult for people in this country to get along?
The primary reason for this difficulty lies in a fundamental misunderstanding about human nature. There’s a widespread misconception that all humans are essentially the same and should, therefore, naturally get along. However, this is far from the truth.Human beings are incredibly diverse, not just in appearance but in their core attributes.
For example, some individuals possess extraordinary willpower, while others have very little. This isn’t about laziness or lack of motivation; it’s simply how different people are wired. People think and process information in vastly different ways. There’s an enormous range of personality types and characteristics. Where and how people choose to live varies greatly. Values and beliefs can differ dramatically from person to person.These differences create what we might call “layers” or “lanes” in which people live and operate.
No judgment. It’s all merely descriptive. It’s not that any layer is inherently better than another—even though many will try with all their intellectual might to make that case—they’re simply different.
Q: Given these differences and layers, how can we make this a better place to live?
While acknowledging our differences, it’s important to recognize that we do share common ground. We all go through similar stages of life and share common daily experiences. Physically, we all basically have two eyes, a nose, a mouth, two ears, and so on. We share a common spectrum of emotions, from joy to sorrow. And yet we are not the same. Cultures are not the same.
One effective method for truly grasping the depth of human diversity is immersion in a completely different culture. This experience can be particularly transformative for teenagers, helping them develop a more fluid understanding of various cultural layers and fostering global unity.
However, current societal trends often work against this understanding. Some people, driven by fear, seek to separate and divide. Others who consider themselves progressives and often celebrate diversity may oversimplify it as inherently “good” rather than acknowledging its complexity. But it’s not about good or bad. It just is.
People often try to control or change what they don’t understand, attaching ego and value judgments to differences. It’s crucial to recognize that every layer of human experience contributes to our collective evolution and growth. Trying to eliminate or change certain layers misses the point of our diverse human tapestry.
It all just is for a reason. We come to this planet to experience all experiences. It takes many lives and many different situations to gain all experience before we can return to the All-That-Is.
Q: How can people from different layers communicate more effectively?
The key to better communication across different layers is to start with the assumption that others are different from you rather than assuming they share your perspective. Understand that while there may be similar touch points, most people are not having exactly the same experience as you.
You wouldn’t try to make a dog be a cat. You would not try to make a cat be a squirrel. But this is what we try to do with people. We want to make them over in the way that we determine is right, from the position of the layer that we can comfortably travel in.
We need to do our best to avoid falling into the trap of “us vs. them” thinking, or trying to force everyone into one mold. Allow for differences without trying to change others to match our worldview. You don’t have to agree, but you can still practice empathy by trying to understand others’ perspectives without judgment.
Q: What qualities would effective leaders need in such a diverse world?
Effective leaders in a world of diverse layers would need compassion and empathy—the ability to understand and relate to people from all layers. They should be comfortable with differences, showing a genuine acceptance of diversity while resisting the urge to try to smash everybody into one container. They must be able to demonstrate and uphold compassionately that “differences” do not equal “enemies.”
But we’re taught through cultural models that what is different is scary, bad, or wrong. And should be banished.
Scarcity is also a major factor at work. Scarcity-minded people will be more likely to cling and clutch to what is “theirs.” People who experience abundance or believe in the possibility of abundance are generally more able to be more open. So, such a leader would need the ability to see beyond scarcity, which often drives fear and division.
Because culture is a unifying factor for many of these layers, cultural awareness and an understanding of how culture shapes perspectives and behaviors are essential. Leaders should also appreciate the many layers and sub-layers within cultures and societies. For the world to exist, there have to be differences. There have to be different abilities, talents, and viewpoints. The challenge lies in overcoming cultural models that teach us to fear or reject differences.
What’s missing and what is needed is a comprehensive guide on how to peacefully accept and navigate these differences—a project I’m currently working on.
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