Cait dreamt about my father last night, which she does on occasion. My father and Cait had a thing for each other while he was alive. She often expresses how much she misses him, and how she really wishes that she had a grandfather. (Andrew’s dad died several years ago as well.)
Though my daughter has the most wonderful grandmother, my mother, in her life (and that counts for a lot), I feel badly for her that she doesn’t have a grandfather. It’s a definite break in the chain… There’s something about the Grandfather energy that bestows a feeling of wisdom and protection on a child. My father certainly bestowed as much on his other grandchildren who had the gift of knowing him for many years, as I know Andrew’s father did with his grandkids.
The man who tunes up our furnace is from the Mohawk tribe. Charlie has been coming for years. We’ve developed a comfortable friendship over time, so that now after he fixes the furnace, he likes to sit and talk for awhile; he doesn’t believe in rushing from one job to the next. He’s an interesting guy in many ways, full of stories.
As it so happens, this morning he was talking about his beloved Grandfather, an elder in his tribe, who was helping him sort through a problem. Mind you, this wasn’t Charlie’s biological grandfather, just an old man in the tribe who Charlie liked and respected.
I commented on how great it must be to have an old man as a grandfather figure. He looked at me like I didn’t get it at all.
“Grandfather (that’s what he calls this man) isn’t a grandfather figure. He is my Grandfather.”
I nod, indicating that I understand, but apparently he wasn’t buying it.
“In our tribe, all the elders are our Grandfathers and our Grandmothers. Everyone is a family member. There is only one family, and we all–everyone, everywhere–belong to it. It is the web of life. Without it, we’d all be adrift. No?”
The trouble is, I really do understand what Charlie is saying–and what my daughter is feeling–but there are no Grandfathers around us that Cait could call her own, I don’t know any older men where we live. My father’s best friend, a most wonderful man and someone I dearly love, lives 3 hours away. I borrow him for my Father energy now. It’s enough for me to know that he is still walking on the planet. But because we see him maybe once a year, I don’t think that helps Cait’s need for a Grandfather. I don’t know that holding a being in your heart is something that can work for her yet. So, I will work harder to find a Grandfather closer who can really be part of Cait’s life.