Wanderings — Worst Analogies Ever Written

I am often asked to play the role of book doctor for writer friends whose manuscripts need a little work. I am able to keep charging through, because at least I haven’t come across any of these! If you need a good laugh, go ahead and click.

Here are just a few of the gems awaiting you.

They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.

He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.

6 thoughts on “Wanderings — Worst Analogies Ever Written”

  1. Karen Lynch-Live the Power

    I laughed and laughed!
    “like two hummingbirds that had never met”

    “two brown circles with black dots”

    and I’m having visions (scary thought!)
    of the hefty bag full of vegetable soup! ugh!

    this is priceless!

  2. Mountain Dweller

    I liked the one about the hailstones, although I am under the unfortunate impression that it was written by somebody who really knows!

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